25 Things You Might Not Know

I was on facebook today (I know...surprise, surprise there). I saw a notes thing in the News Feed from a former student about 25 Things You Might Not Know. It was a type of chain letter thing...for those who actually remember chain letters! Basically, she received this from another friend...in receiving it, she had to list 25 things about herself that her friends didn't know about her and then send it on to 25 friends to keep it going.

I found her list to be quite interesting...her dry sense of humor really showed through her writing (majoring in English didn't hurt her too much either...). It made wonder...could I come up with 25 things that people might not know about me? So, here is my best attempt...

1. I am a snacker...could do it all day long...which could explain why my ass is definitely not shrinking.
2. I am anal-retentive about the strangest things...for example, I fold my t-shirts in half lengthwise, fold the sleeves in, and then fold them in half again so that the front left chest is always on the top...and I always hang my shirts so they all face the same way in the closet.
3. I am addicted to popcorn.
4. I LOVE to watch people fall down...it is the most hilarious thing to me (as long as they are okay...I'm not THAT mean).
5. I was engaged twice before being engaged to my now-husband...had a habit of trying to force bad relationships to work...I think it might have been a combination of the whole avoiding confrontation trait and the fear of failure...
6. I am my own worst critic...I never consider myself to be simply enough.
7. I sometimes try to manipulate to get my own way...I will often use guilt in that quest.
8. I am NOT a morning person.
9. I am a closet Jim Brickman fan...it's okay if you have NO CLUE who he is...he can make me melt into completely tranquility.
10. I would jeopardize my marriage for Jon Bon Jovi...and maybe George Clooney. Yum! :)
11. I think people can be more attractive because of their personality...and can be more unattractive because of their personality.
12. I never really liked my name growing up because I thought it was too plain...now I would love to name my daughter Kate (but I won't because that would just be too odd).
13. I am stubborn beyond belief...if you've ever seen the Everybody Loves Raymond episode with the suitcase...that is totally me!
14. I think there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love.
15. I worry too much about offending others.
16. I avoid confrontation.
17. I love logic problems.
18. I find people who are well read to be fascinating...I think you can tell quite a bit about a person by what they choose to read.
19. I use sarcasm often...to diffuse a conflict...to make someone else laugh...to divert attention from myself and my personal issues.
20. I am addicted the news. I check news websites regularly throughout the day and feel lost when I don't what is going on.
21. I like to be in control...and really struggle when there are things out of my control.
22. I sometimes feel like I am a doormat...it stems from the whole "avoiding confrontation" thing. I will often inconvenience myself to avoid telling someone no.
23. If I ever win the lottery, I would hire my own hairstylist, makeup artist, massage therapist, personal trainer, and laundry folder.
24. I am scared of failure and completely and totally scared to death of not being there for McKenzie.
25. This list took me all stinking day to compile...a list of 25 things is really long...a lot longer than I thought it would be. So much for being really productive today...maybe I'll be productive tomorrow...

Why do I even bother???

I wonder why on earth I bother to follow the rules at my job. What incentive is there? It's not like I get paid more for being a "rule follower"...and it's not like I am going to get fired for not being a "rule follower" either. I have co-workers who arrive late and leave early...I see no consequences being handed out for that. I wish I was somehow wired differently so it wouldn't phase me to break the rules like that.

I also wonder why I volunteer for anything at my job. I see co-workers having ZERO extra duties...no committees, no activity sponsorships...NOTHING. Yet I keep signing myself up for all these stupid committees, sponsoring three organizations, keeping the scorebook/clock at games, and so on. Of course I wouldn't want to work with these co-workers on a committee...either they say stupid things or do stupid things...or are just plain don't do anything. I feel like I am being punished for doing my job and trying to do it well. I have told colleagues this statement many times: Start sucking at things...then they don't ask you to do things anymore... Maybe that should become my new personal slogan...

And...when I am gone from school, I go to much effort to leave details plans for the substitute--making sure that I leave enough work to keep the students busy. Then I come back to a pile of paperwork to sift through. I just LOVE to hear the announcement that "Ms. So-and-So's classes should report to library with study materials today." I know that some areas cannot really leave anything for the sub...either because the sub probably has no background in the material (like me trying to teach Physics...now that's a joke!) or for safety/security reasons. However...come on...can't you at least leave them SOMETHING that is related to the curriculum...you can't tell me that you can't find a video or something...a magazine article for them to read?!?!? It all makes me want to kick myself in the shin...and makes me wonder why I even bother sometimes...

And don't even get me started on selfish co-workers who think the world revolves around them...got plenty of those too!

(Can you tell that I am having a "My job drives me crazy" day?!?!? I should probably just be thankful that I even have a job and a paycheck...hopefully that gratefulness will resurface tomorrow...)

I don't mean to dog on all my co-workers. Many of them approach their jobs with dedication and a purpose...being on committees, volunteering for things, sponsoring extra-curricular clubs/organizations/teams. Like usual, it's a small few who ruin it...

Mother/Teacher of the Year I am not...

McKenzie got to bed late one night this week...thus started the absolute worst morning I think I've had in a long time.

She did NOT want to get up. I got tears at everything and absolutely NO cooperation in getting dressed and ready to go. I ended up yelling at her…that made her cry more, which made me feel like absolute crap. She proceeded to cry buckets of tears because I wouldn’t carry her to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I yelled some more…she cried some more. She finally made it to the bathroom…I got her toothbrush ready…she cried because she couldn’t pick which toothbrush she wanted to use. I left the bathroom and shut the door…or more accurately, slammed the door. While I tried to calm down in the hallway, she cried even harder. I finally went back into the bathroom and found her crying while brushing her teeth. She proceeded to tell me (while sobbing every other word) that I scared her. That sent me over the edge emotionally…I felt like the shittiest mother on the planet…I had scared my 2-year-old with my morning ranting. So now she’s crying, I’m crying…and we’re running late. Then she didn’t want to put on the chapstick because it wasn’t her little pink one. (Of course, I have NO CLUE where her pink chapstick is…I lose those stupid things all the freaking time.)

We finally make it to the car…drove to work/daycare with no troubles—except for the fact that I had to stop at EVERY stoplight…which always seems to happen when I am running behind—I cried the whole way and she quietly looked out her window. I just kept apologizing to her…not sure if she understands.

I ended up being snappy at everyone that day…got to school and remembered that I told a student that she could finish her Accounting test that morning at 7:30…I wasn’t even to half way to McKenzie's daycare by 7:30…knew it wasn't going to be a good day.

Even if you have to lie to me this morning…please tell me that I am not the most horrible mother in the world despite the fact that I yelled at my 2-year-old enough to scare her. I never want to hear her say that to me…it absolutely broke my heart into pieces.

To make matters worse, I had a bad first period class…was NOT prepared…gave a crappy lecture…I didn’t even understand what I was talking about…my students just gave me a blank stare as if they were saying, “What the hell?!?!?” I just avoided eye contact…

I worried about McKenzie all day. I was anxious to pick her up from daycare...would she still be scared of me? What would I do if she was? My heart was pounding as I walked up the stairs and opened the door. I could see the daycare worker calling to McKenzie to tell her that I was there to pick her up...and she ran to greet me as she always does! She ran with the regular excitement in her face. I cannot express how relieved I was...that she was still "Mommy's girl"...and honestly a little peeved deep, deep down that she greeted me like it had been an ordinary day (because my day was nothing even close to ordinary)...and a lot grateful at the same time. Hope she is as forgiving and easy going when she reaches middle school... :)

Things I Don't Understand

I have recently discovered that there are things that I just don't understand...while I could make a list a mile long, I settled on the list of things just from the last few days...

1. With 20 million applications on my new Blackberry, I can figure out how to interact with facebook and check my e-mail...but why can't I figure out how to turn the ringer off during school?

2. Why does it bother me so much when my trash can is not in its normal usual spot? I came into work this morning like usual...sat down at my desk like usual...went to throw away my banana peel...reached to the right side of my desk to drop it in the trash can...and proceeded to drop it straight on the floor. The cleaning staff left my trash can by my classroom door...

3. Why is Wite-Out so interesting to HS students? If a bottle of the stupid stuff is left on the desk, the next student to come in is opening the bottle and putting random white lines on everything...their assignment, their notebook, their backpack, the Wite-Out bottle itself... During my first year of teaching, I actually had three students who put Wite-Out on their tongues! (In my defense, they started doing it the class period before they came to my room...they just continued the "party" in my classroom.) Turns out that it could be just a little toxic...(is that like being a "little bit pregnant"???) I guess these particular students didn't take time to read the warning on the label..."DO NOT SWALLOW OR INHALE. WARNING: Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents can be harmful or fatal." No surprise...they each had a pretty good gut ache a bit later...DUH!!

Are you kidding me?!?!?!

I have read many articles which show studies and test scores that show that students in other countries are scoring higher than students in the U.S. I usually get offended by these because I irrationally think it is a personal attack on my teaching abilities. HOWEVER...I do tend to see some things that make me think we might not be the "sharpest tools in the shed"...my evidence is as follows...

1. A student was very surprised to learn that Dallas was in the same time zone as Omaha...to say Geography was not her strong suit would be an understatement.
2. This same student actually asked who the KKK was...it was on the news and was also on her upcoming history test and she didn't know...then when she saw a photo of some KKK members with the white sheets, she said, "Oh...that's the KKK...I've seen them before." So, now we can add history to her list of "things she knows nothing about."
3. Same student..."What is aloop? You know...when people run to Vegas to get married..." (The ding-dong meant "elope.")

To make matters worse...these are just the ones that have happened in the last week or so...and she is not alone in her cluelessness...if that is even a word.

Which leads me to just one question...Are you kidding me?!?!? I will say one thing...it does give me a reason to chuckle on occasion...and does make me feel like a genius. :)